Lately I am getting more and more exhausted. Feeling drained and empty.
There are so many things I have to consider that even weekends feels like ordinary working days. Job is draining me out, sending applications, preparing for skill tests and getting ready for UN tests - all those things are slowly killing me. On top of that, there are some crafts, which I should get done as soon as possible.
Honestly, first I was enjoying sending out applications and getting ready for skill tests. It let me to revise some materials and improve my knowledge about some things. I actually remembered why I love international relations! But currently it is starting to get too much. And what is worse - I feel like I should pick up even more things. Maybe some courses, read some professional magazines and books, try new kinds of crafts...
Even though I do feel drained, there is also something good to it all. I am getting more confident in myself, even if I get rejected. It is like when you first started to learn skating or riding a bicycle. First it is scary and you are afraid to fall. But as you get more and more scared, the chance to fall increases with it. And at the end you are so stiff that you fall, and fall, get up and fall one more time. With each time you learn that falling down doesn't really hurt that badly. And you learn what you shouldn't do and what you should. Just... after a while you get tired from trying and all you wish for is a break. There is always tomorrow, when you can pick it up from where you left it.
I still haven't decided what to do... what to drop and do I really have to drop something...
